You Really do Remember me this Time
by kleopatra218
Summary: Axel pushes Roxas away even after he remembers there relationship. He has no where left to go now and Axel's moodswings are really geting old. What will he do? oneshot. some swearing. boy/boy relationship stuff. don't like? don't read!


**Hello my little love nuggets! I was playing Kingdom Hearts the other day and I went back to the first Axel fight. Roxas was running out of the castle after the boss with Axel and it wouldnt let me go passed the forest. it got me thinking about things and that's where this came from...ENJOY!!!**

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**Roxas was running. His feet were flying across the forest floor. Tears stung at the edge of his cerulean orbs, threatening to spill over. Vision blurred by tears made his sight limited as he hap-hazardously darted through the areas not previously inhabited by trees. His oversized shoes made an audible thudding noise as he crashed his toe into a rock on the forest floor. Crying out in pain he stopped and grasped at his foot causing his balance to fail and he collapsed into a crumpled heap on the ground.

It hurt; and not just the foot that had been assaulted by the rock and was now bleeding. It hurt where his heart should be. The hole in his chest was burning in agony and all he could do was lie pathetically on the forest floor and cry tears that weren't supposed to be. That never were. Yet, when he looked at them, they looked real. They felt wet, and as he put them to his quivering lips he found that they were salty. Much like sea-salt ice cream. How could something so real come from emotions that weren't true? That never were true?

Damn Axel! As soon as he remembered their relationship, there was Axel, torturing him when he just wanted to love him again. Love, it was funny, they couldn't love anyone, and yet him and Axel had a special connection. Call it what you want, but the warm, safe moments in his arms were the closest things to love that Roxas had ever experienced. Now, here he was, in a position that left him scared and vulnerable and it was all Axel's fault.

He didn't know what to do. He couldn't go back to his home. His fake home, and his life based on lies. His friends that didn't know who he was. It was as if the light he had been using to see through the dark had been extinguished and he was utterly lost and alone. He looked up at his surroundings and was caught off gaurd when he saw that it had started to rain. He hadn't even noticed being lost in his thoughts.

There was a time when he trusted Axel with his life. He would cling to him because he was the only thing that he could consider stable in a time when everything around him was deteriorating. Axel at his good times was someone that you couldn't help being drawn too because of his charm and charisma. But when his moods took a violent turn for the worse, they usually ended up fighting till they were both bloody and broken. Then Axel would comfort him and tell him he was sorry. Roxas would say that he understood, and that they didn't have feelings that could be hurt. But now, as he lay there crying on the forrest floor, he could have begged to differ.

Rain was now pouring down on him at this point, drenching him in chilly waters that made him shiver as well as sob. He thought back to the angry expression on his lover's face. Axel had been furious when all Roxas wanted was or things to go back to the way they had been, the way he wanted them to be forever. He had given him all he had to give and now he was running out of time. He didn't want to feel this way anymore. He shouldn't feel anything. When do you start to forget what emotions feel like and become like Xemnas, who had lost his ability to feel long ago? He almost would rather feel nothing at all then the pain he felt at this very moment and he was going to do something about it.

He had cried too many tears that he shouldn't have cried at all. He had been Axel's play-toy for long enough. Who gave him the right to be angry one minute and then dismally unhappy the next. Roxas thought back to after he had defeated Axel. He had sat there on the floor and said "Let's meet again in the next life." Roxas had had enough of that bullshit! Did Axel even really love him? He couldn't be sure anymore. Bits of his memory seemed to be gone and sometimes no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get them lodged out of the recesses of his mind.

What did Axel mean when he said that? "Just because you have a next life." Roxas didn't want this life anymore. He wanted to be free of the confusing mindtricks Axel put upon him. He didn't care if he saw Axel in the next life! Part of his mind was nagging at him that this wasn't true, that if he were thinking rationally, he would see that he really did love Axel, however neurotic and fucked up he could be. He appeared to be impulsive and careless, but if you got to know him you would see that he thinks more than anyone that Roxas had ever known thinks and more. Sometimes just looking into his emerald green eyes brought a glimsp of the pain he felt and sarow he had to endure.

This brought more tears streaming down his face as he gently stood up. His head rushed from lying down to long on the forest floor. He started shivering from cold and rage that was directed inward more than anything. Finally, after what seemed like it could have been hours or minutes or a lifetime, Roxas made up his mind. He would go back to the mansion. It wasn't like he could go back to Twilight Town anymore and there was no where else to go really. He just hoped that he wouldn't run into Axel, but if he did, he would be ready.

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**Wow, that was short...anyways hope you liked it! Please leave a review (unless you are Sarah and you are just going to make fun of me) and it will make my day. Sorry in advance for spelling erorrs, there might be a few.  
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